Gran always holds totalitarian dictatorships responsible for Internet related problems. Other, more mundane faults of a domestic nature are promptly attributed to David Cameron. She still holds the Prime Minister responsible for our boiler woes. Dad says it's best not to question gran's speculations. He says the boiler was intermittently malfunctioning long before Mr. Cameron came into office, "...so it couldn't possibly have been his doing."
The total lack of logic inherent in both of their ridiculous statements can only be attributed to some kind of mutant gene. Mum agrees, adding that the synthetic agents responsible for such mutations can travel many, many miles. "Totalitarian dictatorships and chemical weaponry," she says whilst plugging the router back into the wall-socket, "have a lot to answer for."
Sometimes, even when amongst family... I feel so desperately alone.