Kirsty/Sussex.
I just heard that Facebook are buying Instagram for six million pounds, Munky. Would you agree that this is a little excessive?
Munky's Response.
Dear Kirsty, I am utterly bewildered as to why Facebook would pay such a price. I myself recently purchased the aforementioned app for just 69p. Some people obviously have far more money than sense!
Harriet/Moss Side.
Is it true, Munky, that the average fast food consumer will inadvertently digest twelve pubic hairs a year?
Munky's Response.
Dear Harriet, I have consulted my 'Big Book of Fast Food' and can confirm that the statistic of which you speak is indeed true. Why-on-earth these people feel the need to store fast food in their underwear is quite frankly beyond me!
Steve/Leicster.
My girlfriend suffers from a rather unusual form of OCD. She is regularly compelled to stroke my penis for a certain amount of time and is unable to leave the house until the ritual has been completed. What can we do?
Munky's Response.
Dear Steve, Forgive my ignorance... But I fail to see the problem here?
Derek/Sussex.
Is it true, Unkle Munky, that there's more chance of dying whilst on your way to buy a lottery ticket than there is of actually winning it?
Munky's Response.
Dear Derek, I can confirm that the odds you refer to are correct. You can of course solve this problem by sending a family member or friend out to buy the ticket in question.
Wayne/Slough.
Dear Munky, You recently advised that couples should never go to bed on an argument. My wife and I have not slept for three days. We are exhausted. Surely there must be a clause for those who cannot resolve their differences within a twenty four hour time period?
Munky's Response.
Dear Wayne, I must insist that you follow my counsel to the letter. Going to bed on an argument can give rise to all kinds of bad shit. Good day!
Carol/Swindon.
My boyfriend has given me a tortoise for Valentine's Day. I don't know what to make of it, Munky. Can you help?
Munky's Response.
Certainly, Carol. Simply crack open the shell, scoop out the innards and hey presto! A beautiful ashtray.
RSS Feed